January 31

12:17 – 12:38

Washes of blue as a stage prop background to the curled shapes of purple and black roses, entangled thorns like predatory starfish engulfed coral reefs, deep sea diver, forget your woes in that cold, black water, is there a suspension bridge to your supply of oxygen?Utter disbelief, the approaching, envious intimacies of a young lover, she is pleased with her floral bouquet but something seems to have dried out in the transport, remind her of death passively… 

Uncharted terrain found in silent books, libraries of sacred knowledge burned down by acid rain, forget your self and lose into the void, tear off those masks and let the words breathe, man. They can. You can make them. Let it go bizarre, no comparison to former versions of self, though usually after encountering terrible loneliness and sadness, in the depravity of a frozen apartment, those cold toes curled up underneath thick layers of prosthetic ice, that smile stuck underneath the glass, held poise and grafted to the skin with surgical precision, the nose picks up traces of dead layers in every pleasant smell, those cargo bay doors slam shut when you’re half way out, split the personality into fragments and crushed you up and snort you, the devil does, happily on his humble throne. 

How can I prepare for this encounter with an otherworldly being, a ghost of times passed, those flattering eyes, cells of smooth, sanded skin, black veins of ink spread across the back and some impossible magnet keeps our hearts like the attractive properties of water, as a polar molecule and dissolving our defenses without effort or remorse, too easy to break down each others defenses and take jabs at the exposed souls. Is there a 3 and a half hour mental prayer to keep clarity at hand with this encounter? Or will the empire be lost in a fiery earthquake or drunken debauch. 

These fingers are individual magicians. Other students, self righteous and gloating, the polluted air inside our lungs, contemplate nicknames of cities and what they might mean, our tendencies to make parodies of our true selves, the clashing of designs, dark and light, or plaid and striped, missing harmony and dissonance is a glorious feat until humanity destroys everything that was once naturally occurring. I remember the orange plastic keyboard cover that would protect the individual keys from my sight so I could not cheat with my watering eyes… His black hair slicked over to the side, multi cultural, the plight of different species, an arrogance surrounds his words with a cloud of dust and residual smoke from his last sentiment. These words pour out of him like a tipped over kettle drum, or volcanic ash covering our knowledge with a veil of presupposed superiority. 

Then the ocean, the levels of Co2 and the shells of creatures dissolving in acidic waters, coral bleached out of life, exposing spiny skeletal structures where colorful life once flourished dreamily in a state of bliss, hesitant to approach as the spikes, poisonous, are sent drifting quickly through the fathoms like bullets of archery, enemies are we, these aimed for our underwater shins, and to infect the entirely of offspring, black cats killed out of superstition, but kept as pets, those tamed and bred in nets or cages…. scientists explore the black plague through modern procedures, but a calamity smashes the laboratories, perhaps a terrorist act, and the plague is released, vaporized, become airborn and infectious. We can only hope that some terrible mistake such as this could take over our spinal columns and replace internal organs with drained-white calcified bones, marrow all drained and yellow, no transplant could possibly fix this inversion. We are intact but opposite. 

 

Clearly searching, though in a vague, confused way. 

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