I bet I’ve only seen 10 people fully naked in public. We hide in our clothes like clown cars. What happened to jumping through the thin layer of ice over the lake? Then the fireside with the whisky warmth, burdened by our wettest skins, wring me out, tear out my skeleton from my flesh and watch it float, buoyant, hollowed out by calcium supplements that weren’t FDA improved and physiologically did the exact opposite as professed, ‘build your bones! be strong and supportive! you are a framework for better movement, you are a science class specimen, you are your worst nightmare on a sunny day in plain sight, across the street, completely oblivious.”

Driving around aimless last night after clocking out and driving around aimless after clocking in during work, paid to get frustrated at the radio static, the dumb drivers sharing space with me anonymously but with horns and lights, but with wipers windshielding. Do you remember standing at one end of the rainbow as I stood in the cemetery at the other? I said I brought my shovel and start digging already, for the gold, the treasure, the fool’s gold, and you said you’d meet me with a back hoe and help remove the fillings from the bony jaws. You wore a Las Vegas smirk, lacy white leggings, and some awkward countenance, some sunshine met under the rosy cherry blossoms, some solid secret thoughts, something was there and then gone and at the 20th and Ravenna house party you were there and disappeared and “Who was that?” and “Oh yeah I remember her.” Oh man. No one knows how to flirt with pretty girls when their girlfriend is asking for the lighter to try and open another beer.

I had other thoughts. Romantic maybe. Angry maybe. It all faded into unfortunate indifference. I don’t know what I’ve done today. Laying on the futon without cover. Attempting to make a remix of “Make a Plan to Love Me” by Bright Eyes but it isn’t working out quite yet, I can’t keep the tempo accurate. I really just wanted to sample a few parts of it and make my own tune from their with nice accents. I tried hard for bit, slammed into a wall, gave up. Had a smoothie. Worked on a song in 7/8 and the key of Ab Major. Memorized the chords for “Holy Shit.” Studied some French. But free time is this! I don’t know what to do with it! Do I read? Write? Play? Dig up gold teeth behind the Catholic walls? Not the last. On sundays, cemeteries are too kitsch.


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