wake up with the sunrise this saturday morning, the morning after my only independent day off of work, and burnt down to the wax for the procuration of this fine morning, the coffee making with mechanical gurgling, a sneeze from a neighbor, a few crows, the water cranked on in the shower with the struggle and the rust of the hot water through pipes. I had a knack for leaving my better parts away when I went up and out to classes this quarter. I am ashamed of my lack of foresight (which is obviously only known in hindsight and a wasteful theory). At the same time I do not regret skipping out on the shakespeare field trip to see the first folio because I had a wine smeared head wound to recover from. or missing my opportunity to revise and edit a final french composition because I woke up on the dot exactly the time I needed to step in the door. this are situational yet still somewhat avoidable. it will be nice to have mornings again, in addition to a powerful night sleep after truck night box lifting, after windshield wiping land swerving, after downtown box man handling, after dolly cart chucking, after the rain on the windshield is like tears falling up at 65 plus, and the Kerouac audiobooks, the Nabokov audiobooks, the science podcasts, the lessons learned and forgot in turn, one by one by one by one. How is it possible for me to fit all of the information I’ve squeezed out of college classes into my brain? I’ve answered this question before with… It is not about factual memory but about the expansion of the mind, the growth of schematic networks like an exponential virus, the associations of concepts and ideas, all to my disposal, all astronomical wonder, philosophical inquiry, French familiarity and of course LIT-ER-A-TURE. So that’s justification. Swelling my mind with interesting ideas. Too capacity and forming and replacing and realizing that I need my own time to write poetry and that reading shakespeare was not helping.