Fermenting the nutrients and taking in vitamins to supplement the exchange. This is what the body does without you, after chewing, swallowing. Knowing of histories of violent unsettlement, when what matters again is the idea of holding your forehead to your son’s as he chose Namibia to explore and having a holy moment there in the airport and the flows of speculative capital happened outside of this because real human emotions cannot be bought and sold like stocks. It can be bought with marketing strategies at least temporarily, in a sense, tricked. One phenomenon is the strange new development of moving pallets with a splinted shin and feeling my heart lighting up inside my chest to the point I can’t sleep because I’m thinking of George Carlin and Richard Pryor having heart attacks and talking humorously about it although it could not possibly be a humorous experience to be involved in and that is why it is so funny from the outside because we are safe for now and this shit is real new raw experience shared with us…. not “fabricated to increase insecurity”…. moving away from that, feeling my heart leap around and warm to strange influences and shortness of breath, of other free associations…. I thought, “people die like this” and, horrified, ran off to Alaska to take in the air and settle the heartrate.